Swimming through Titles: My Naked Truth

It was the 19th of February 2021, I tried to access my Facebook and was met with a request for a photo of my ID. My immediate thought was “Oh hell no! Who is trying to scam me” and of course ignore this. In fact, I think I swiped to the right or left, I can’t really remember which it was but I moved right along swiftly. I thought I was being safe, being careful, only to find that my Facebook account was deactivated, wait for it…because I am underage! Yup, I had to prove to myself and then to Facebook that I at least over 13 years of age.

 

Just when I was trying to navigate through the ridiculousness of it all, my Twitter account was also deactivated. As South African would say, “What a WOW”! I moaned, I announced on Whatsapp status updates with the hopes that since they both belong the same company my message would somehow filter through to the mother, brother or father company, whatever it is and had a ranting party for about a day or so until I went back within. I sat with myself, not because I grew up as an only child, but because I have learned to sit with myself, all of me, even the parts that look at me like I am crazy, including the parts of me that do not want to come out. I sat with me, all of and it came to me that I needed to retreat and since I am a Thomas, the easiest way of getting the message across to me was by taking me out of my comfort zone,

 

It is easier for me to reflect by helping others, to motivate others and learn through that myself, when a coach walks me through a path and I get the answers, but it is not so easy when there is no one, when it is just me, for me, by me. I immediately committed to being off Facebook for a week and sat with my thoughts. I had so much fun, tears, tantrums, lessons, discoveries, aha moments and a whole lot more that I ended up staying off for more than a week.

 

Now for those of you who have been with me for some time you will know that I am a regular poster on facebook and Whatsapp and when I went silent I received messages asking if I was OK. I was OK and not OK because sitting and running is like sitting on a none existing chair, your glutes have to be mega strong to pull this off. I worked on my website and was still in disbelief that a whole me, with no IT degree or diploma, no website knowledge had been given the task to put together my website and actually publish it for the public to see.

 

You see, it was more of a healing journey than a website. I had to work through my feelings of not being good enough in my gift because there isn’t really a qualification that I can be given for it, other than produce results and have faith in myself. It was a way for me to get over the constant need (yes I am using the word “need” deliberately) to be perfect and hide from myself through helping others. If I help others, I find myself right? If I help others I gain confidence right? If I help others I will be perfect right? What exactly does this “perfect” that I am looking for even look like because as I sit here typing what was meant to be a simple “Hey fam, did you miss me? Well I am back. Facebook had deactivated my account but I am back, let’s get the ball rolling” I have no idea what perfect looks like.

 

I went down memory lane…come, walk with me and feel free to stop and breath because I see that I am slowly approaching four pages, I might as well write a book…

 

I started off my journey of trying to be perfect as a teencoach. At the time I thought that was what I had to focus on. It made sense because I am drawn to kids and they are drawn to me, it does not matter where I am. I was right at the time, but wrong in totality because the truth is I was still helping adults like I had been doing throughout my life even when I did not know that is what I was doing.

 

Someone at the time suggested that I stick to teencoaching for I can't even remember how many years but as the saying goes, "my oxygen did not agree" (direct South African translation essentially meaning that my soul did not agree). Teencoaching was a stepping stone to me accepting myself, my true self. 

 

I thought I had a lot of friends, but actually, I had a lot of clients and very, very few friends. This only became evident when I decided to formalize my coaching. It is then that I realised that I had been befriending so many clients at an emotional and spiritual energy cost. They befriended me at a skills sharpening cost. We did not know, but we all benefitted. Only then did it make sense why these friends only came to me for help and as soon as they were sorted it would be quiet. These were not friends, they were clients and me being me, a helper of people, of course I would attract people who require my services, who require help and think we are friends. 

 

Now I have energy for days because it is all channeled where and how it should. Friendshiping alone is hard work, it also brings dis-ease, that makes you sick. Don't do that to yourself, know who and what you are and align to that, trust me, and I know what I am talking about, I have skin that lived to tell the tale and a Facebook and Twitter account that went on strike to bring me to self.  

 

It is only when I stopped coaching my friends that I found my real tribe. Monatefontein (fountain of all things nice)! My true friends have remained friends, but the number has literally gone from a massive number of a busy life to a handful of ease, balance, joy, tough days, but not work disguised as friendship because my work is who I am.

 

I could have listened and remained a teencoach and that would have probably been so much easier, no confusion no nothing, but my soul is such that it gets what it wants and what it wants is to be true to myself. It never listens to anything that does not resonate with my purpose and if I try to, I just get sick, end of story. My periods can tell you stories of how my womb responds, but let me not digress.

 

I expanded my professional coaching to adults and that made so much sense because it meant helping a lot of the people I am born to help, professionally, being fully aware of the work I am doing each time. I have been doing this since forever anyway so the puzzle pieces just clicked, well kind of.

 

Mine is to serve souls, regardless of the physical bodies they come in. It sounds long how I  have had to introduce myself, "I am Precious Lindiwe Nthibogelang; a  self discovery and development coach. I also coach and mentor teens, wait, let me grab a glass of water because now I am a certified coach too". I could just say "Hey fam, my name is Precious Lindiwe Nthibogelang, I am a certified life coach". Short and easy until the work starts. Then there are those who do not ask who I am, who do not ask what I do. They just say "Gogo (grandmother)" and get straight to the business of asking for what they require me for, this still leaves me shocked each time once the work is done. I thought I am young, I mean teens think I'm 20 or so simply because I am a mother, and the ring on my finger. Even Facebook thought I am that young. Don't ask, not now

 

Yup, I am in my journey of life and my gift keeps unfolding, yes, with headaches at times when I choose to run away from myself or be stubborn. I could shy away and choose the simplest route, but that simplest route would take away from my core of serving and I would end up showing up as half of me which I did with one client I feared would judge me and they will be getting a refund. If I did this I would be giving you half the service which is just not good enough. I certainly don't want that, and I am sure you do not too. Today I choose to serve you as me, not what I think looks or sounds good enough, not what I think I will be judged less from, but as me, bare as I am, imperfect as I am with no paper to show what my spirit can do other than the portion that I could certify as a coach.

 

As I wrote this the word "pathfinder" came to mind, I don't ever remember hearing it so I hopped onto the Google bus and this is what I found:

 

“pathfinder

/ˈpɑːθfʌɪndə/

noun

a person who goes ahead and discovers or shows others a path or way.

an aircraft sent ahead to locate and mark the target area for bombing.

an experimental plan or forecast.

"a pathfinder prospectus"

 

Each time a title drops in it boils down to one thing, finding self, true self, the core reason for being born. I am very much tempted to call myself that and say hello, I am Precious Lindiwe Nthibogelang, your pathfinder to your true yourself, your purpose. Come along, let's walk the path of self discovery together and reveal the true value in you so you dear one, can find pleasure and freedom in your essence, the very reason you were created and continue to live.

 

How does that sit with me you ask, well, I love it! The more I think of it the more I love it. If ever you get confused by who I am and what I live for, all you have to remember is that I am Precious Lindiwe, whichever you choose to remember because that stays and my job is to help you to find the reason you were made so you can be happy. Everything else is me trying to put one word to what I am for ease of reference. Society says we must have a title, fit in somewhere, otherwise we are not good enough, a sentence is too long to explain who you are and if you have to use a sentence, all eyes squint and you are seen as not good enough. I might remember my sentence, but you might not and I have to consider that too. Who knew my adult life choices would encompass what I call myself for ease, my title? I remember someone telling me to read the book “A leader without a title” and right now I wish I could just be this leader and be without a title, just a pathfinder to truth of self and purpose.

 

I used to laugh at people with a string of titles, look at me now. I still laugh at them here and there for the fun of it, but now I add myself to the equation because I know that, that string is actually forming the core essence.

 

For the young and old, regardless of my title or titles, my job is to help you discover the value in you and your true self so you can find pleasure and freedom in your divine purpose.

 

DM on Facebook (Precious Lindiwe Nthibogelang) or Instagram (no, not standalone "Hey" or "Hi", ain't nobody got time for that).

 

I wanted to say let’s vote on what I get to be called, then my heart started whipping me with pumps, so it looks like we won’t go down that route. I love the Pathfinder, as a pathfinder it means I am finding my path to my own journey, I help you find a path to your true self and where the path is hidden by limiting beliefs, self-doubt, procrastination and I could go on forever, I find the best path for you to cut these for a clearer path. Yes Pathfinder it is. It may not sound glamorous, it does not even sound educated, but for the first time I am actually content with my non glamorous, not so cute and none educational title, I actually love it! It does not matter what I do, I will always be on this path of finding our paths. Come, walk with me as we find our paths together. Some of the paths will merge, others will cross and others will end while other begin, but a journey is made up of a path, a destination is found through a path.

 

You can choose how you contact me because now I have a website proudly created by me, but most importantly, choose the value in you, choose yourself!